Becoming Unconventional - How I Started Living My Values

Even though I had been exposed to alternative ways of thinking and living while growing up, I was still also steeped in the conventional mindset (and society). Seeing examples was not enough, it was just a beginning. My own journey started, when my life was in the lowest pit. Literally! Here’s my story:

I had been married for close to 5 years, was a first time mother (after having had 3 miscarriages and struggling with a diagnose of infertility). We had been living in Germany, trying to build a foundation for our life, when we had to realize that it wasn’t going to be possible for us to live values we believed in (being a stay home mom while my husband worked … he never learned the language good enough for us to generate enough income to support ourselves completely independent from government support services). I also had to come to terms with brokenness in my family (parents & siblings).

So, here I was, a new mom after years of waiting and hoping, dreaming of living a meaningful life - while facing the reality of being alone in a new country, halfway across the world from all that was familiar, with no support, no family around, no friendships established, no support system, not even a possibility to actually receive government support (as an immigrant I was not eligible to receive foodstamps for 7 years). And with NO MONEY. Talking about challenges!

I looked at myself and saw

and ordinary person, with a profession I was not passionate about (office administration), struggling with fear and depression, loneliness, being disconnected (despite efforts I felt I made). Scared of today, concerned about tomorrow.

Still, I had a choice

Was I going to give in, give up and conform my values to our circumstances?

Shout I just give up (or even postpone) my dreams of being a stay home mom, living a life build on faith and values I could support whole heartedly? Was I just a dreamer? Was I being realistic? Was I being responsible?

It was then, that I perceived this tiny strength within myself.

Somewhere, hidden deep within me, there lived this Fighter

and she awoke - not sure of her abilities, strategies or even chances of success. But willing to give it a wholehearted try - giving it her ALL and to see from there.

Poverty unleashed my creativity

Once I found my inner fighter, I rose up and started fighting.

The first thing I did was an evaluation of all I had and all I could do. From there I started doing research of how to expand my resources and abilities with what I had - and how to managed what we had to the utmost.

This is when I started learning how to cook simple and delicious meals, make almost anything DIY, offer resources and abilities to generate an income. I started an In home daycare for infants & an Etsy and Ebay Store - selling homemade products I had mostly made from ingredients we had bought with food stamp benefits (as we found we could live off of less food money than my husband received per month).

For fun I also shared recipes both for DIY and food on a blog.

My first homeschool curriculum was $20 for 2 years and all activities used free spaces (like parks & museums … most have a free family or kid night or day), ingredients almost anyone already has in their kitchen or closet and other items one can readily find at a garage sale or thrift store.

As life has progressed, I have simply continued learning, connecting with others (mentors and like minded), practiced, creatively adapted, re-evaluated, and dared to believe.

That Tiny Fighter has since grown up

into a strong and mature woman fighting the good fight - One knowing who she is and who she is becoming. One who has fought and endured, grown on challenges, and literally become a completely different person.

Not that I have arrived at my destination, but I am running the race and have grown into a strong endurance athlete of life.

On my journey I have discovered, keys that are essential,

mindsets, principles, truths, approaches, knowledge about life and living throughout history both past and present (and cross cultural), and practical keys

I believe everyone can apply to live more regenerative.

The beautiful thing is

literally anyone can learn these truths, skills, mindsets & methods

Today, I am passionate about sharing my journey, sharing the journey of others who dared to discover a deeper and more purposeful way of living & raising a family

and enabling, releasing and leading other moms (& families) into living

A NEW PARADIGM in mothering (& living)


A life that is connected (to God, Nature, Self and Others), within a network of communities, healing, supporting and growing, leaving a small footprint on the earth, but a big IMPACT in the lives of those around us (through help, inspiration, community and service). 

 

Jessica Ajayi